Breaking the Silence: The Untold Stories of Men Facing Gender-Based Violence.

Loe*, a man in his 50s, never imagined that his home—the place where he should have felt safest—would become a source of fear and pain. For years, he endured a painful secret: his two wives often beat him.

During a community dialogue at the Nyando Social Justice Centre, Loe finally mustered the courage to speak out. “My wives are both stronger than me. They have turned me into a punching bag, especially when I’m unable to fully provide financially,” he shared. The room fell silent, filled with empathy as his voice trembled.

Loe explained that reporting his abuse was challenging. “I went to the police, but the officers laughed at me,” he said. Despite the ridicule, he couldn’t bring himself to retaliate against his wives, hoping authorities would intervene. “I am asking the government and organizations to help men. We need help,” he pleaded.

At the meeting, Loe urged other men to speak up about their experiences. “We should not shy away and endure the pain,” he encouraged. “The women are our family, and we need to find amicable solutions.”

While women are more often the victims of gender-based violence, men also suffer significant abuse. However, stigma and societal norms discourage them from reporting. The Centre for Rights Education and Awareness reported 3,762 cases of gender-based violence in 2022—777 involved men. Types of abuse included physical assault, emotional abuse, and rape.

The 2022 Kenya Demographic and Health Survey revealed that 36% of men have experienced violence from their wives or intimate partners, yet only 29% sought help, compared to 42% of women. Moreover, 58% of men who experienced violence never sought help or told anyone.

Caren Omanga, convener of the Nyando Social Justice Centre, noted, “We have cases of men being beaten, but many do not report.” The centre has established a men’s support group to provide a safe space for those affected by GBV. “For those who do come, we turn them into male champions to help reach others in similar situations,” she added.

Davis Okeyo, Senior Programmes Officer at the Gender and Equality Commission, noted that men suffer silently due to societal norms that depict them as strong. “Men are always portrayed as strong, which leads to underreporting of cases involving them as GBV victims,” he said. However, he pointed out that legal aid clinics and gender desks at police stations are starting to provide fair hearings for both men and women.

As awareness grows and support systems strengthen, there is hope that all victims of gender-based violence—regardless of gender—will receive the help they need.

Article By Suzy Nyongesa.